Human Marriage is another one of those complex and mysterious things. Most would agree that a great marriage is wonderful and life fulfilling thing.
Soul Work Theology would support and encourage great marriages between people. A good marriage partnership can enrich the lives of the participants and others around them. But a bad marriage can do the opposite.
Soul Work Theology recongizes that marriage is not to be entered into lightly. And that marriage vows should last as long as possible. There is something valuable and important in staying and reaching a working relationship.
Soul Work Theology does not want to be too rigid about marriage either. Either that people have to get married, or who can get married, or that people HAVE to stay married. Life flexes and adapts, and Soul Work Theology wants to mirror that.
So we want to walk a fine line of trying to gain the benefits from life-long partnerships without locking in the pain and hopelessness of being trapped in something bad/abusive.
Soul Work Theology would spend more time on preparation for marriage. That people would have enough information to really know themselves That people would be raised, and would groom themselves to be the best partner they can be That people would have reasonable expectations of what to expect from a marriage That somehow the culture might find ways to pass down and encourage courtship practices that might lead to good outcomes. Not that things should be too prescribed. Not that spontaneity should be ruled out. But that there might be some kind of framework to help people talk about important subjects as the courtship progresses.
The general idea is that if marriage should not be entered lightly, then it should in fact be a little harder to enter. Prospective mates should have to demonstrate their maturity and committment to qualify for marriage.
The Founder would like to suggest the idea of having different kinds of marriages/arrangements. there should be a 'going steady' type state. This would be distinquished from more casual dating by a commitment. The participants would commit to staying together for a short period of time, say weeks to months. At the end of which the participants could re-up or extend their commitment. If issues came up, they would be committing to stay and try to work it out until the next re-up date. What this really says is that the relationship is important enough that neither side should just walk out if they get mad about something. There would be a companionship marriage. This would be a life-long or near life-long commitment to be each other's closest companions in life's journey. There would be a child-raising marriage. This would be a committment to form a child-rearing unit. This committment would be until the last child reaches legal age. Afterwhich the marriage could shift easily into a companionship marriage.
Distingusing between child-rasing and companionship marriages helps level set expectations. Not only are there different expectations inside the marriage, but people outside would have different expectations of the marriage. And having two different kinds helps keep all that clear.
There might be other reasons why people would want to combine/share assets or live together. To really understand Marriage, one must also consider the purpose and structure of Families. For such structures can and should last longer than a single lifetime. And when one joins such a structure, it can have additional facets in addition to love, companionship and childraising.
Yes divorce is permitted. Otherwise people can be trapped in bad/abusive situations for life. Yes there should be some counseling or processing with others to see if the marriage can be saved. But once it is determined that a marriage shold end, the process that ends it should not be so terrible. The end of a marriage is bad enough, the divorce itself should not be another trauma on top of that.
Please, don't screem and yell and throw people out or get violent because something happened. Affairs happen. Sometimes it does mean the end of the marriage. But remember, we are here to process raw emotions into something more useful. A marriage crisis can be one of those times. How can it be processed better? Can trama be reduced?
There have been plenty of marriages that have ended. There have been marriages that survive affairs. There have been marriages that work out arrangements that include others. Soul Work Theology would like to give the people involved room to work out their own arrangements. If it is a deal/trust breaker, then it is important to minimize trauma. The less people tear each other apart over it, the better they can heal and move on.
The important thing is that people live life as best they can.
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Sex
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Family
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These pages last updated on July 2019