Soul Work Narative

The challenge of Choice

The challenge of Response

There are 3 different kinds of choices:

• Binary choices. Do something or not do something
• Multi choices. Choose between several options
• Layered choices. There is a top level choice, but underneath one or more of those choices are significant subchoices. Sometimes one or more of the sub-choices are important enough to sway the top level choice.

One of the pitfalls of choices is over-thinking. Including more and more options, or trying to foresee deeper levels of sub-choices or outcomes until one becomes overwhelmed and can't make any choice.

Often choices become easier if you have worked out some values beforehand. The hardest choices are ones where you don't have some sense of the values involved or possible results/consequences.

One often thinks that it is the Outcomes/consequences that matter most. One might spend a lot of time/energy trying to foresee them all. But there are limits to what one can foresee, especially in areas where you have no experience. Often one does not really understand what the results/consequences feel like until afterwards.

There is a balance point of considering what you KNOW about the results/consequences,
what you CAN LEARN about the results/consequences with a few clarifying questions or a bit or research,
and the point beyond which more thinking/research/foresight just makes things confusing.
This leads to the saying that "people make the best decision they know of at the time".

This suggests the importance of knowing as much as you can before such choices arise. But there is only so much you can learn about things in the future. What you CAN know are things about yourself. I would suggest that studying yourself is the best preparation you can do for future choices.

Things you want to understand about yourself include:

• Who are you, or who are you not?
• What do you want out of your life?
  -or, what do you not want in your life?
• What strengths/abilities do you have to make your way through life?
  -or, what weaknesses could impede your life?
• What do you need to be/feel OK or Safe?
  -or, what makes you feel bad, scared or anxious?
  -or, what calms or relaxes you?
• How important to you are the relationships with your friends and family?
  -or, what would damage or break those relationships?
• How much of the following do you need:
  • Stability and routine
  • Money/Wealth/Financial Security/Debt
  • Fun and excitment. Sensual pleasure.
  • Education: How "smart" do you want to be?
  • Beauty in your life (not how pretty you are. Do your surroundings/living space need to be pretty?)
  • Clean and orderly vs haphazard; minimalist vs having lots of stuff
  • Love, friendship, social acceptance
  • Status or power
  • Mastery, expert, or good at something
  • Discipline
  • Health
  • Sex
  • Spiritual or Religious beliefs/pursuits
  • Doing/building/achiving something that will last longer than you do

Thus it is important to understand and know what parts and pieces you are made of.
What needs, fears, desires, urges did you come with?
And what are the most appropriate ways to meet/avoid those for youself, those around you, and Life in general?
These are the things you can know/learn proactively that help you make good choices.